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Ferried Away

by Stay Inside

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1.
Bon Zs 04:37
I can’t muscle it out, but if they said it, then I’m sure to god it’s true. I swear, man, House of Cards was just playing in our backyard. And I just wish that I’d said it before, ‘fore you were gone, that “you look a bit like coffee, and you taste a little like me.” You’d probably hate it that this song is about you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t around you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t around. I want to know what happened, but I’m too afraid to ask. I’m analyzing languages, you’re lying on your back. I wonder if you’d tell your family that heaven isn’t real. I wonder if you’d tell me that I’m spinning my wheels. Is this real? I swear nothing about you is fading for me. I swear nothing about you is fading for me. I’m still driving to Florida, and you’re in the back seat. I swear nothing about you is fading for me. Maybe… maybe leaving early made ‘em wish I stayed. Maybe I don’t care about the guests of the parade. Maybe I look at you gone gone gone…. Next time I see y’all might be through my dead eyes. Tell me I was selfish, yeah, I don’t mind. No smiles. No flowers. No ashes, no concerns. Black out my vision to a line of light. I’m finding out I’m saturated with nothing else.
2.
Long gone are the days where you’re blue in the face. Skipped off like a stone, I hope you learn to float. A foregone conclusion, I would go drown in the well again. Now, that whole plan’s been shot down. Breaking off the grip my open mouth had over my bones. I sunk right through the cushions of your fold-out sofa bed on 96th street. You were throwing me a line. I learned to take a dive. I miss the taste, but I’m over it. Stuck in this place, but I’m over it. I want you to find out, but I don’t know how.
3.
A Backyard 03:34
I miss you, but I don’t have the time where I could make it right. I float on through. See, you’re on solid ground, and I act like you’re ghosting me. An older brother to you, an older brother to me, that’s what it seemed like since, like, always. Now, you’re a father for three, feels like you’re fathering me in a weird weird weird weird way, but I like it, and I might just stay, ‘cause I miss these days. Your daughter, your neighbors, I wish they knew my name. Show me your garage, and tour me through the yard. There’s dirt on your guitar. You drop me at the bus stop and send me along. The way you build me up makes me feel so small. Would you rake a pile of leaves so the both of us could break our falls? And most of the time, it’s like we slide right by each other. The solder splits, yeah I move too quick. Oh, you mail me a family picture, but I can’t get the nerve to call. What I’m trying to say, I swear it happens every day, I start writing to you, but I can’t get out of my own way. Does it matter to you? Is there something that I can do? It’s all piled up on your plate. Man, your garden’s looking great. And I like it, so I might just stay, ‘cause i miss these days. Your daughter, your neighbors, I wish they knew my name. Yeah I like it, and I might just stay, ‘cause I miss these days. Your daughter, your neighbors, I wish they knew my name.
4.
Your ideas, I don’t consider a good time, man. I hope you understand. I just never had much of a taste for revenge. I hoped to keep you as a friend, but so much lead soaked down into your veins. Your eyes poisoned and gray, now you’re slipping her rings through your hands, while I’m waiting in the van. I remember when I’d want it back. Really, are we ever gonna speak again? I used to think I wouldn’t have to ask, but now I'll meet you at a casket. Hope the flowers give us something to say, while we’re reckoning how this one got away. Somewhere, I lost track of someone I won’t get back. Somewhere, I lost track of someone I won’t get.. I remember when I’d want it back. Really, are we ever gonna speak again? I used to want to see you after class, and now I’ll meet you at a casket. Hope the flowers give us something to say, while we’re reckoning how this one got away. Do you know whose move is next? Are you hoping to forget? When the invitation comes, is it a wedding or a death? Got no one else to tell. No words we can sell. Guess we’ll just sit here wasting wine with no ideas. Somewhere, I lost track of someone I won’t get back. I won’t get back. I won’t get back. I won’t get back. I won’t get.. I’m built just to burn ‘em, if anyone’s asking me. Save ‘em just to hurt ‘em. If anyone’s asking, does anyone know the difference? Your old man guaranteed you would’ve been in the dirt by now if it weren’t for me. You’re glued to your guns, and stuck to my chest. Forgiving in the worst case, forgetting in the best. You’re glued to your guns, and stuck to my chest. If anyone has a question, then did anyone learn a lesson? If anyone has a question, I’ll go on..
5.
Brass tacks jab my arms every time I make a sound. “Drive on home, you’ve got it all backwards out there. Aren’t you over it? You should be over it.” You’re raising your voice now, in a Turkey Hill parking lot. The strip mall lights humming their siren song, get out of my head. There’s a slope to my shoulders now. I swear we only float in the shallow end. At least my exit was convincing to me, and I’m this close to some sort of fair-weather break-through epiphany. Now, the nitrous tanks dug in the yard, they’re hissing in harmonies. Generations of confidence end with my seed and the death of your dreams. Am I wasting your hopes? Yeah that’ll put the brakes to the floor. “Ambition wasn’t meant to be yours.” Our cells, they stop dividing, the slide show is rounded out, I’m burning up the carousel. With a gown they could sell me a lie in. In a town I could give up and die in. Not sure if i’m sorry that I told you, but I’m sorry that I’m smiling. There’s a slope to my shoulders now. I swear we only float in the shallow end. Yeah, that’ll put the brakes to the floor. Ambition wasn’t meant to be strip mall lights humming their siren song. Get out of my head.
6.
My Fault 02:27
Once things go bad, everything’s my fault, isn’t it? Once things go bad, everything’s my fault, isn’t it? You say that you said too much, and you fake a smile and pretend like you’re one of us. I cave when I won’t catch up, with a kitchen scissors, I guess I’m not so good at this stuff. Well, I just don’t know what you’re worth, but you weren’t worth it all. God, you weren’t worth it all. Got me stuck here making up rewards to fall for, ‘cause it works. Yeah, it works. Once things go bad, everything’s my fault, isn’t it? Once things go bad, everything’s my fault, isn’t it? Well, I just don’t know what you were worth, but you weren’t worth it all. Glad you weren’t worth it all. Got me stuck here making up rewards to fall for. Yeah, it works.
7.
We sent the pressure to the wheel wells. If heads got heavier, I still can’t tell. A god of posturing to my own sounds, I won’t escape myself, but maybe growing up is growing out. I think I have my doubts. Oh, my god, overhaul everyone now. Firesale all my friends, put me on another holiday. Another hospital bed cavalcade. I guess we’re out of touch with each other then. Moving through the motions. Scrolling through mixed messages, like did you even care, or did you only just wish I was there? I bet you lost trust with me then. How could I blame you? Sounding like an old record that you heard too many times. Now, I’m just the dust in your eyes. Skip a farewell, then I’m off track. Never came by, what you call that? Guess that I get what I give back. Guess that I get what I give back. Steal from the boatman when I go. See on my own if I can’t float. Guess that I'll reap what I sow. Guess that I'll reap what I sow. Holding on to something. Holding on to something. Swear if you saw this one coming, worse if you saw nothing. I’ll admit this was all my fault. Shiver when I drive past your car. Still know your phone number by heart. Still know your phone number by heart. Look so kind across the aisle, then I’m serpentining back through your neighborhood in my mind. Eye contact never has felt like so much of a chore. Can’t stop slurring my goodbye, I ran my hand across your bow tie. Watch you undivide.
8.
Your ghost is my home. I’m leaving a trail. Tunneled codex to your old haunts. Saw a complex of apartments in the spin lights from a sweetgreen. Was this glasslands? Are you dancing in clouds? You're the moonlight, you're an apparition, you only happen in the dark. So, I bloomed for you in some karaoke bar. You said you're not afraid to put your last name down on your credit card. I can't stand this song and dance anymore. Your costume’s on the floor, oh won’t I stay a while. You had scream queen dreams, but I ain’t seen you in years now. The sunlight hits the floor, and then I say goodbye. Now, it’s halloween, and the air’s electric. I see you buzzing down the halls. I cut holes for you in your sterile bedsheet gown. We’re back haunting Bedford, the memories echo off the walls now. I can't stand this song and dance anymore. Your costume’s on the floor, oh won’t I stay a while. You had scream queen dreams, but i ain’t seen you in years now. The sunlight hits the floor, and then I say goodbye. Boat down to Coney Island, bringing you the news. Shore up at Funny Face, I hope he’s good to you. A never ending carnival, you’re out of things to do Cyclone’s in overdrive, you’re over it…
9.
Steeplechase 03:08
You take a lap inside, and that's fine. The checkered flag flashes bright. Second place, yeah, that’s all mine. Let you win this time, then one more run around on another ride. For once I don’t retch up, but it’s time. The Steeplechase’s socket lights are burning out when it’s midnight. Catch your breath in line, then one more run around on another ride. Ferry’s full, I’m inside. Cross your heart, say goodbye. I can live with my my my my old years, and you can stay stuck in here. No.. Leave a light on on the shore for me. Stand in the light at the show for me.

credits

released February 28, 2024

All songs by Stay Inside

Produced by Brian DiMeglio at Brooklyn Recording Paradise
Mixed by Mike Watts
Mastered by Adam Cichocki

Trumpet by Matt Hull
Additional Trumpets by Dave Levy and Daniel Busa
Alto Sax by Siddhu Anandalingam of Semaphore

Cover illustration by Unknown, used with permission of Penguin Random House
All other illustrations by K-NOR

We'd like to thank the following friends and loved ones without whom this album would not exist: Stephen Mlinarcik, Chris Yunck, Alisen Downey, Jesse Cannon, Zachary Fischer, Liz Przybylinski, Jackson Seidenberg, Christopher Salyers, Babette Racca, Herb Holyst

Stay Inside is Chris Johns, Bryn Nieboer, Vishnu Anantha, and Chris Lawless

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Stay Inside New York

bryn, vishnu, chris, chris

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